


False Alarm!

by benedicteggs



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: Comedy, F/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-31
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-11 17:16:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13528917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benedicteggs/pseuds/benedicteggs
Summary: Marie tries pretending to go into labor to get out of Asuza's speeches. Stein plays along. Based on that one Office episode where Jim and Pam try to get out of a meeting by faking going into labor.





	False Alarm!

Although the battle with the Kishin has ended, Lord Death has ordered semi-annual checkups from the death scythes stationed around the world. Though many are complacent, they make a harassed report of the various happenings. Most were brief, but they were mundane, making it seem twice as long as it really was. However, when compared to Azusa’s, their speech was gone in a blink of an eye. Already ten minutes into her speech, everyone had to fight to keep their eyes open.

 

“Oceania is doing fine, well, while I’m in charge. The meisters [insert long list of names] stationed out in [so and so city] are doing just as ordered, patrolling the borders in case of any strange activity. I’ve been staying in the capital, relocating–”

 

On the right of Azusa, Death Scythe Marie fought back a yawn. She blearily blinked her eyes, knowing that her colleague will drone on for another hour, at least. Thankfully, Lord Death had renovated the Death Room so that the attendees no longer had to stand for hours on end. Instead, they sat around a large, oval-shaped table with Death at the head of it. Still, there was no cure for the extreme boredom that hit her. She fought to keep her eyes open, knowing that she was fighting a losing battle. Her hands rubbed anxiously at her protruding belly, and she shot a sideways glance at her husband. 

 

Then, a brilliant idea hit her. 

 

Marie leaned closer to Stein, hissing in his ear, “I’m gonna do it.” 

 

Stein hummed non-committedly, continuing to stare at Azusa, his expression carefully blank, but the slight upwards quirk of his lips meant he was entertained by the idea. He gave the slightest hint of a nod, bowing his head a fraction. Marie allowed herself a moment of glee before she started her act. 

 

In the middle of another tangent, Marie suddenly keeled over, clutching at her pregnant stomach. She stood jerkily from her seat, grabbing Stein’s hand to keep herself steady. “Oh!” She gasped, a mixture of horror and excitement apparent on her features, “This is it! I’m going into labor!”

 

Stein stepped into action without missing a beat, shooting up from his seat. He slung Marie’s arm over his shoulder, helping her as they made their way across the room. “Okay, she’s going into labor. Make way, everybody!” 

 

Everyone, who was on the edge of falling asleep, was shaken awake by Marie’s outburst. Startled, they crowded around the pair, trying to help as much as possible. 

 

The only who didn’t get closer was Spirit, who leaned back in his chair, groaning in disgust. “C’mon, guys, you can’t keep saying you’re going into labor. Everyone knows you’re full of it.” 

 

Marie, who was not about to let Spirit call out her lie, huffed and scowled at the Death Scythe. “That’s so rude! How  _ dare _ you say that to a pregnant lady! Accusing her of lying about her baby— what a gentleman you are, Spirit.” 

 

The redhead fired back immediately. “Are you serious? You did this two days ago! When I was trying to offer you Maka’s old clothes and crib!” 

 

“You mean when you were droning on and on about Maka’s old baby photos?” Stein muttered. “There was no end to that conversation. How else could we have escaped the situation?” 

 

At once, Marie’s colleagues stepped back, suddenly wary. 

 

Sid frowned, crossing his arms. “I was always an honest person. That’s the kind of man I am. That’s why I keep falling for this! You guys are pitiful.” 

 

Naigus narrowed her eyes. “I have to agree; just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you can get out of these meetings. It isn’t fair that you guys get to skip out of Azusa’s reports.” 

 

“Hey!” Azusa readjusted her glasses, glaring at Naigus. “It’s not my fault that I have a lot to say– anyway, is it true, Marie? You’re using your pregnancy as an excuse to not listen to my report?” 

 

“Oh, dear,” Death said, in his cheerful monotone, “Marie, Stein, you should know that you’re still expected to be apart of the meetings. Plus, if you keep crying wolf, no one will actually believe you when you’re really pregnant!” 

 

Marie sighed, putting her free hand on her cheek in embarrassment. She looked away, abashed. “I suppose you’re right, Lord Death. It’s just that– Oh. Oh!” 

 

Marie stared down in stunned silence, and the people in the room followed her eyes to where liquid had spilled onto the floor, right below Marie. “My water! It broke! I-I’m in labor; this is really happening!”

 

Again, this time, everyone, including Spirit crowded around her in excitement. The pair hobbled towards the exit, with many blessings called toward them. 

 

“Take care!” 

 

“Drive safely!” 

 

“Congratulations!!” 

 

Marie grinned, with Stein in tow, “Thank you! See you all later!”  

 

And then, a soda bottle dropped, landing just below Marie. All cheers subsided as they stared at the empty bottle of carbonated sugar water. Those stares then turned on Marie, frowning in judgment. Stein grinned unabashedly, as Marie laughed nervously, mumbling, 

 

“Oops. False alarm?” 

**Author's Note:**

> This was a fun little one-shot! It feels like it's been years but yeah I still hardcore support SteinMarie. Holy crap what a pair.
> 
> Also forgive me it's been awhile since I read the manga, did Lord Death die? Something like that? But in this one-shot he's a-okay :')


End file.
